Why Wedding Vendor Gratuity is all Over the Place + A Non-Monetary Tip Guide We Can All Agree With

How Much to Tip Your Wedding Vendors

For small weddings in 2024 with 120 guests, a cash tip of $100 per vendor is sufficient. For cozier affairs of 50 guests, $50 per vendor is fair. However, large-scale weddings of well over 250 guests may warrant a $150-250 cash tip per key vendor. And stashing each cash tip in separate envelopes to hand over to your wedding planner for distribution during the vendor briefing at the beginning the day will keep sprits high for all vendors throughout the day.

To be clear, my recommendation is based on single-venue weddings of around six to eight-hours where the core team – planner/coordinator, photographer, videographer and DJ – are on deck for most of the day. However, twelve-hour marathons kicking off with getting ready pictures at home, followed by an hour-long church ceremony with thirty minutes of pictures afterwards, then even more pictures at the park, wrapping up with an all-nighter in a ballroom or backyard, driving in heavy summer traffic between each location, well, that's what I consider a large-scale wedding.

Tipping Vendors at Weddings is Voluntary, Not Mandatory

I’m just gonna say it: I don’t believe in monetarily tipping anyone across the board, especially if they’re expecting it. Tipping should be a voluntary gesture of appreciation for a job well done, not an obligatory expectation that induces guilt when unmet. Or worse, having your chili cheese fries stomped out by a disgruntled DoorDash guy for not tipping him ahead of time.

Conditioning society to blindly tip every workforce sector is becoming the norm. Even self-checkout machines ask for tips now. But when was the last time you considered tipping the lady at the Target checkout line or the lady at the fast-food Chinese place? But sure enough, we all ponder how much to tip the Olive Garden waitress after grating a pound of cheese covering the 2,000-calorie plate on the table.

However, should tipping wedding vendors be necessary? After all, you’re already spending thousands of dollars on their services. Unfortunately, all mainstream wedding publications believe tipping is practically mandatory. And it doesn’t help when they add even more fuel to the fire by specifying which vendors to tip and by how much, despite everyone present at your wedding working their ass off as promised. Blowing this whole tipping thing out of proportion with a convoluted tipping etiquette and percentage recommendations.

But David! Didn’t you start this post recommending how much to tip my wedding vendors? I did. But even though I don’t believe in tipping, many do. So why not help them by preventing needless headaches from using a confusing tip calculator seen in all wedding blogs? However, the rest of this post is for those like me, who don’t believe in tipping and would much rather show their appreciation in other ways.

But first, let’s talk about how we got here in the first.

Tipping Etiquette for Wedding Vendors

A quick search on the internet shows how unbalanced and unfair the tipping scale is for wedding vendors. Not to mention the headache when deciding which wedding vendor to tip and how much, an equal twenty for everyone or a percentage rate? It is all over the fucking place. And we can thank publications as Zola and Brides who have the audacity to recommend who and how much to tip with their convoluted and complex tipping suggestions.

Furthermore, The Knot’s Vendor Tipping Cheat Sheet specifies which vendors to tip, as if one vendor is more important than another. Why? I don’t know. Martha Stewart Weddings has a similar take by saying a generous tip is expected for all vendors, unless they own their own business. What!? Who’s reading this crap? Lastly, Brides.com has the same take as Martha Steward Weddings by telling readers that, "if your photographer, videographer, baker, florist or wedding planner own their business, providing a tip is not necessary."

Yes, the same publication that once said that you as a client, should feel no obligation to feed your photographer because as writer Sandy Malone kindly suggested to both wedding photographers and videographers to, "feed yourself or pack a lunch to eat in the staff break area if you cannot survive the shift." The original article has since been removed. But Pepperidge Farms remembers. And even non wedding publications like U.S. News recommends you only tip the staff, but not business owners. Ridiculous.

Now personally, I work best on an empty stomach, and I never expect clients to feed me at their wedding anyway. I much rather have a drink or two from the bar. Besides, when was the last time you had bomb ass food at a wedding? Exactly, I rest my case. However, many vendors do appreciate a hot meal while covering eight, twelve-hour weddings, so just feeding your vendors the exact same hot meal as your guests and not some cold ass box lunch will go a long way in showing your appreciation for their hard work on your wedding day.

Sneaky Mandatory Service Charge and Gratuity Fees

Fasten your seat belt for this one Girl Scouts: some vendors, especially venues and caterers, will hit you with a mandatory service charge, a gratuity fee, and a 'recommended' percentage tip for the service staff, often even before factoring in the tax. Yes, you read it right. Not only will you be shelling out thousands for your venue and catering, but you'll also be expected to cough up an extra few hundred because the vendor can't be bothered to pay their employees a decent wage. So, why should you, as the client, be forced to foot the bill for your wedding vendors' employees' salaries?

Wedding Vendor Gratuity: Non-Monetary Tip Alternatives

Let me be crystal clear: I'm not here telling you not to tip your wedding vendors. If you've got the cash and feel like tipping, go for it—it's your money after all. I'm just pointing out how I don't like feeling obligated to tip. Trust me, every vendor at your wedding will work their ass off as much as the next one making sure your day goes off without a hitch.

And while I can't speak for every single wedding vendor you'll encounter; I can tell you that most vendors don't expect cash tips but would certainly appreciate them. That said, the following tip alternatives will show your appreciation without costing you a dime, just a few minutes of your time, and will undoubtedly be appreciated by all wedding vendors.

Allowing your vendors to enjoy a drink or two from the bar.
Not haggling with your vendors for discounts during consultation.
Sharing your vendor’s website and blog posts with family and friends.
Submitting your wedding photos to wedding publications on behalf of your vendors.
Feeding your vendors the same meal your guests are enjoying, not some cold ass box lunch.
Writing a five-star review on Google, even better if you record a 30 second testimonial video.
Recommending your favorite podcaster, YouTuber or blogger to have your favorite vendor on as guest.
Following your vendors on social media. Liking, commenting and sharing their posts with your audience.
Recommending your favorite wedding vendor to your friends and family; the tip that will keep on giving.

Yes, something as simple as a five-star review on Google Maps will mean the world to any wedding vendor and will far supersede a monetary tip. Costing you nothing more than few minutes of your time. But again, don’t feel obligated to tip anyone, we all know the considerable investment you’re making to put this wedding together, and no vendor should feel entitled to a tip, ever. And if you do tip, budget allowing, make the effort to tip everyone present at your wedding, because no single vendor is more important than an another.